Tonight I cannot sleep.

Tonight anxiety eats me alive.

It picks apart my brain, leaving me numb and trying to piece everything back together.

It makes me wonder what’s wrong with me.

It makes me wonder why can I not just be normal.

It makes me question you.

Anxiety makes me ask myself, in fear of asking you and not being able to cope with your answers, why you stay.

Why do you stay? Why bother?

I know I’m a burden.

I know I can be too much.

I know there are so many others out there that are prettier, more fun, more easy going, less dramatic, less trouble than I.

There are so many others that could give you so much more.

Others that could fill your heart so full.

Others that could put a smile where I put a frown, a cheerful conversation where I put an argument, a warm heart where I have anger, frustration, and fear.

So why are you here?

This is what runs through my mind at 1:00am when sleep cannot find me.

Tonight anxiety makes me question you.

Tonight I can’t sleep.