Yes, 100% natural birth you feel tough and kind of like a bad ass BUT, thinking about how you look to your husband and everyone watching you probably isn’t as “cool” as you think.

Went in 4/5/18 at 5:45 PM for my induction @ 39 weeks. (Already being a 3 & 70%)

It took them about an hour and a half to get me admitted, gowned up, and settled into my water birthing suite. Birth plan was- you’re not a bitch, you can do this without “needing” help. (AKA drugs.)

Why not test yourself?

Around 7:45-8 PM they started my Pitocin, 30 minutes later they upped it a little. After about 2 hours things mellowed out at a “12” dosage. Contractions felt just like bad menstrual cramps.. big deal. So they decided to check me.

Surprisingly, I was at a 5 and 100% with his head completely engaged. So they decided to break my water. (They also had a male student with them.) Not knowing that EVERYTHING your midwife does, he does too. (My hubby was quite uncomfortable. I admit, I kind of was as well.)

BUT you gotta learn somewhere in this profession.

They came back in about 10 minutes later and broke my water. (Time being 10:30ish).

After that, it got intense. I managed to contract walking around for about 30 minutes than I decided it’s time to get into the water.....

SHIT gets real. 😉

Contractions were coming back to back with no breaks in between so they finally shut the Pitocin off and they were able to space a few seconds apart for me to breathe. My poor husband had no clue what the hell was going on. I just kept chugging along, feeling like I’m slowly loosing control with my breathing (long inhales and exhales) then BOOM!!! I felt I had to push and the loudest scream came out of me, nurse ran for the midwife- “I think she’s crowning.” (It’d only been 20 minutes in the tub.)

They told me to not push but, you mamas know.. there is no holding back when baby wants out. Midwife came running in and everyone surrounded my tub. I’m on all 4’s in the tub holding husbands hand. 3 agonizing and what felt like burning/tearing pushes came back to back and I felt babies head “pop” out. His body then still between passing. The ending push I couldn’t catch a breath from the last and I literally belted out a groan/scream that sounded like the the exorcism. My husband thought I was trying to crawl out of the tub for how much I jumped forward. (It hurt so fucking bad!) You know those screams that rattle your ear drums? Well I also was in a tub so it echoed, I saw one student cover her ears. I literally wanted to pull out my hair, I couldn’t manage the pain and FINALLY his body fell out. (As well as a turd.) I couldn’t imagine how I looked to all those people- male and female watching me.🤢 (whatever; childbirth ain’t pretty.)

I immediately started shaking. I couldn’t even hold him; I just started balling from the adrenaline, the pain, and seeing my beautiful son getting detached from me. I even made my husband cry! (He isn’t emotional at all!!)

What a beautiful gift but, in such an awful way to deliver. Born at 11:57 PM on 4/5/18

Asher Holland-Church

7 lbs. 13 oz

19”

For as much as my vagina hurts; he makes my heart hurt more. 💙💙 So in Love.