First trimester problems!

I hate to be a downer. I feel so incredibly blessed and lucky to be pregnant. But here i am, 9 weeks pregnant and having such a tough time. I was not prepared for how difficult all of the changes would be for me, mentally and physically. I work full time and am constantly exhausted. I miss big cups of coffee to get me through a long day. But at the same time the thought of a hot cup of coffee makes my stomach churn. The thought of almost anything makes my stomach churn! The nausea is rough. But, somehow i still have the most intense cravings and manage to constantly eat, things that aren’t very good for me none the less. With that I am so gassy and bloated and constipated and already gaining weight i feel so far from sexy that when my husband tries to initiate sex I just want to turn it down. On top of all of that my hormones are raging and i am so irritable and short tempered!

Sometimes i just want to go out with my friends and get a glass of wine on happy hour after work, but i can’t even do that! Even if i could, i wouldn’t want to.... my after work ritual is lay on the couch and eat til i pass out!

It is so hard not being able to tell the world that i am pregnant and to have the fear that so many things could happen before i hit the second trimester. So much anxiety!

I’m sorry to vent. I just need to get it out. Is there relief? Or do i just get used to it? Is the second trimester really much better than the first?