So before I start I just want to say that I’m 18 years old and this is about my relationship with my 31 year old boyfriend so if all you’re going to do is comment hate saying he’s a pedo, he’s taking advantage, it’s disgusting etc. Please don’t bother and just ignore this thanks.

This is going to be long but I’m in a big dilemma:

So I met my boyfriend 8 months ago and we’re currently so in love. My boyfriend is so stressed out about life and before he met me he would do drugs a lot and drink a lot (he’s not an addict) bc he had nothing better to do and bc stress. He changed so much since he met me and always tells me how much I mean to him and how I’m like the happiest thing in his life.

(Bit of info about him: we live in London and he’s from a different country but he moves countries every now and then bc he loves travelling and being in new places. He doesn’t have like a permanent place that he lives and just stays in temporary places like moves in with friends and pays half the rent. Also his job is something that you don’t need to be qualified for and can do anywhere.)

So about me now and basically I lost my virginity a month before I met my bf and I don’t have much experience with guys (i went to an all girls school) and he is my first boyfriend. When we first got together I always planned to break up with him around this time or in September bc I’m moving to Newcastle (4hours away) for university in September. But now I’ve fallen in love with him and the idea of leaving him absolutely breaks my heart and his and he gets so upset whenever we talk about it.

So he really wants to stay with me forever and he really wants to either have a long distance relationship with me or move to newcastle with me.

Now the problem is I’m not ready to be with one person for the rest of my life. I know it sounds bad and people will probs say that I don’t love him if I think this way but I honestly love him so much I just really wish we met like 5 years in the future. He’s had so much experience in life and he’s at the age where he’s ready to settle down but I feel like my life has just begun and I really want to experience more and be with other guys and not have this really serious relationship to always think about. Also I’m scared that if I do stay with him throughout uni I might regret the missed experiences and what if we fall out of love and it’s just so stressful.

He really does feel like my soulmate even tho there are things about the relationship that sometimes make me think nah I cant be in this my whole life. But the thought of leaving him makes me feel so depressed and I know he’ll go back to doing drugs and drinking a lot (I promise he’s not an addict lol) I care about him more than ive ever cared about anyone and i cant leave him but I’m really not ready to “settle down”. I just have no idea what to do. I even said to him once (kind of jokingly) that we could break up and then get back together after uni and he said he would wait for me.

Help me please. This is seriously the biggest dilemma I’ve ever had and the biggest decision I think I’ve ever had to make.