35 and depressed

I lost my mom 04/06/2018! I turned 35 on 05/01/2018. My grandma almost died on Mother’s Day! I had to resign from a good job to work at Burger King because I couldn’t afford to get to the nice job! I am a single mom of three boys and have no clue what I want to do with my life or what I’m good at! I’m not sure if I really want to live anymore!?!? I’m just saying! I’m not actually brave enough to kill my self.... is it just me or are other women still trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up?