Trying to conceive a carry healthy baby after so much heartahe

Trying to conceive my first healthy rainbow 🌈baby with my partner of 6 years after sadly 2 miscarriages and a recent induced labour for my angel baby boy Theo-John born on 11/04/17 due to having the condition anencephaly... hope and love is all I have 🙏🏼👶🏻😇❤️🦋 any body been through this before and had a healthy baby? The midwife told me it was a string of bad luck.. I’m very careful in my pregnancies and kept healthy ... the previous two miscarriages were due to blood clotting so I had to have 75mg baby aspirin and fragmin injections daily to continue with a pregnancy which I did with my Theo and everything was going great and normal i had all the healthy signs... morning sickness, cravings I even had a gorgeous little bump untill at 14 weeks my scan showed that he had anencephaly and that he wouldn’t live after birth because of how severe the condition was.. I couldn’t do this to myself or him so I had an induced labour(this was the most hardest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life) and when he was born they told me and my partner he was a little boy.... so much overwhelming love for this little one .. I could not go through anything like this again, any advice on having a healthy baby after severe abnormalities and or blood clotting problems? Besides the obvious

- I am student nurse in my 2nd year of my degree and I am in maternity ward for next placement and although I would have loved this in the past I still don’t feel ready to be around new born baby’s when I can’t even have my own bundle of joy to take home