My brother committed suicide

Wednesday night at 11:24pm I get a text from my oldest brother “please call me ASAP” and I was confused so I called him fast and he answered crying no sobbing. I asked was it mom or pap or grandma?? He said “it’s Ethan he blew his head off” and I just dropped to the floor and started crying I got up and got my dad and told him while I was trying to talk my brother I was confused I couldn’t talk or think I just cried on the phone and my brother tells me “I love you Victoria” and I said it back and just cried.

I texted my oldest brothers girlfriend to check on him and ask what’s going on.

My mother was screaming and flipping out on my brother for a lot of stuff. She always yells and torments people. That’s why I got out of their and never talk to her.

He went to his room and went to play videogames and then his girlfriend got mad and they started to fight.

My brother has always had mental health issues he’s been admitted to the mental hospital several times before and he snapped. He got one of his guns and went up stairs in front of my mom and took his life.

I don’t know what happened after that but I know my uncle and pap went to get them and help with the police and all of the stuff.

I didnt sleep I tossed and turned and had panic attacks all night and cried I didn’t know what to think or do I still don’t.

This week I had graduation practice and graduation on Friday. I woke up on Thursday and went to school. I was so emotionally and physically drained I got to school and just cried more. I needed to distract myself I need to keep busy so I don’t think. I got through the day. My friend took me to lunch and ice cream after to distract me. I was doing okay and then Friday I went to my graduation and I did it. I held it together. I am trying to do this. I cry every once in a while. I don’t know how to deal with this He was my middle brother I didn’t live with him ever in my life because my dad has custody of me.

My mom gave up all the rights of my brother to my oldest brother and made him do everything

I don’t even know how to deal with this. What I’m suppose to do or say or anything? I’ve never lost anyone close to me. He was my brother and my mother doesn’t care my family said she hasn’t cried she sent my family to clean up her house. And wants to go back as soon as possible because she’s tired of this stuff

Her own mom said that her daughter doesn’t care one bit.

She caused this. She doesn’t care one bit and I knew one day something would happen to my brother he never got away from her he dealt with her everyday her torment her lies and yells and coldheartedness she doesn’t deserve to be a mom .

Just because I wasn’t really close with him he’s still my brother I love him always will

I miss my brother Ethan he was only 21 years old and he never got the chance to do something with his life he deserved better

He will be forever missed