I’m not living

Depression is so hard to explain to people who have never had to deal with it. I fight for my life daily and to some people what I just said is me just being a baby or being spoiled or I just need to get over it. I wish I could tell them the way I feel everyday and how having to get up is the hardest thing. Sometimes I don’t even make it. I spent all day in the bed and I had to explain to my boyfriend what’s wrong and I can’t. I feel like I’m in a box that is locked up and there’s no way out. Like the breath and voice I had are gone. Like tomorrow is forever away and like I just can’t talk to anyone that will understand. My heart feels like it’s stopped and I feel like I can’t get enough air. It’s like drowning while being completely silent and the outside of me is conveying and perfect person to everyone else. So no, I’m not living. I’m fighting. I’m fighting to beat depression. If you are too, just know I’m with you. I’m fighting your fight. If you need someone who fights with you, I’m here.