has trying to see both sides become controversial?

Question

for the record I'm not looking for a heated debate. I actually hate heated debates. I don't want to tear anyone down, and I feel like we all lose in those situations. let's try and be productive.
from a US perspective- can we all not look at an issue and immediately get outraged at each other? over any topic? 
yes, kids are behind chain link fences. yes, Obama's administration did this, too. yes, this is not an ideal situation. 
instead of screaming at each other, is there any way we work together and come up with perhaps a better solution? something that is more helpful than pointing out that it's already been done before?
yes, black people are more apt to get arrested. yes, there are some good police officers. yes, we have issues with police brutality.  can we not talk about why it is that black people are more likely to go to jail for a crime than white people committing the same offense? can we not talk about other options than shoot-first-ask-questions-later? can we not talk about what makes police officers feel scared, and how to combat that? 
everything on my FB is one way or the other. I realize these are very passionate situations, but screaming at each other is not the right way to do this. 
will we ever be able to have rational conversations about hard issues? or am I just hoping for something that will never happen?

Answer

Here’s the issue. There are debates about all this shit because people still don’t realize it’s going on. How are we supposed to “work together to find a solution” if half of the country is blind to the issues going on around them simply because it doesn’t directly impact their lives??
If it were that simple, we’d have solutions to everything by now.

Answer

It’s very possible to have a respectful debate and be open to both sides of the argument. 
However, it depends on a few things:
- is the person stating facts 
- is the person genuine or a troll
- is the person willing to accept the other side’s statements and feed off it
- is the topic asking for opinions?

Answer

No. Not all opinions are equal.  I have zero respect for people who make excusing for caging children, or actively uphold a white supremacist society, and I’m not going try to see things from their side.

Answer

No. I can’t have a conversation with someone who believes misinformation or lies. Especially if racism, homophobia or xenophobia are on the other side. I’m not responsible for other people’s comprehension skills or emotions. It’s very simple for me...if I don’t want to have the conversation I don’t involve myself.

Answer

Seeing both sides in and of itself is a controversial topic because many people don’t want to do so. A lot of people on here will shout into the void or make blanket statements directed at “those who disagree” without ever bothering to actually talk to “those who disagree”. Now, is that a bad thing? Not always, but I’ve found that it does tend to be a de-constructive course of action to take. No matter how frustrated I have been what I have learned from many debates is that “Okay, I hear your side” goes such a long way with getting someone to change their mind it’s unreal. 
People I think we could all LISTEN, not agree, to more often:
1. Anti vaxxers. Many of these people actually aren’t anti, they’re just confused or misinformed— and when we scream at them that they’re asking for their children to die instead of saying, “Look, I totally get the hesitation, but here’s why you should vax” I feel that that’s where we go wrong. 
2. Vegans, vegetarians, and meat eaters - everyone can better listen to every side here. “Murderer” is not constructive, but neither is “you can’t change my mind, cause I don’t give a FUCK”. 
3. Sides of what you’re referencing - I think we all need to work better on seeing these people as PEOPLE. They are children and parents, not simply “illegals”. But st the same time I think if we can better communicate that point to those who use “illegals” we will have a better shot of changing their minds and fairly listening to everyone instead of just calling them stupid or rude. 
4. Circumcision - I see a lot of extremes with no room for question on here. “It’s mutilation, period” isn’t a bad viewpoint to have, but it doesn’t exactly open up room for an actual debate. Same goes for “it’s my religion”. More elaboration from both sides would be fantastic along with more willing openness to answering question. 
5. Spanking - we can all do better in this area. Calling it abuse isn’t bad, but it doesn’t quite create an actual debate around it where those who do spank will suddenly say, “Oh my god, you know what? They’re right”.
6. Gun control - I’ve had enough of seeing people from other countries mock the fear of people in the US. Our slow police response time (up to HOURS in some areas), # of fatal police shootings, # of home invasions, thefts, etc is nothing to laugh at and those are all legitimate reasons as to why someone might want an arsenal of guns. At the same time, people with guns could do a better job of listening about the actual statistical safety of guns used in self defense and how many times it’s not as effective as desired. 
Etc. I think we can all improve on hearing people out on pretty much any topic here. 
Is anyone obligated to hear out the other/both/all sides? No, but I don’t see why a lot of people are here to “debate” if they are consistently going to desire screaming into a void or looking for an echo chamber. I personally find threads full of the exact same generically pleasing answer on repeat to be boring and not constructive.

Answer

It’s hard to be impartial about mass incarceration of black people by police officers when you’re white
It’s easy to be impartial about trans people’s rights to exist (I.e. using public bathrooms) when you’re cis
It’s easy to be impartial about gay rights when you’re straight
Because these issues don’t effect you personally 
It’s just a fun debate topic and you can pretend these aren’t about Real People
It’s ignorant to tell people to be level headed about a debate that impacts their ability to exist.

Answer

Wtf are you even talking about? This is a debate forum, we’re here to debate issues. Things get heated when people bring their opinions and feelings into things and don’t show up with facts. This is circle time. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Answer

It gets heated because people think their opinions are facts. And can't handle it when proven wrong. If someone refuses to admit to being wrong, we will never get anywhere. 
When something is just opinion-based it's automatically an emotional argument. When emotions get tense, civil dialogue is hard to continue and inevitably ends in name calling and hateful comments. It's just how people are. You're asking a lot tbh

Answer

The human experience is different for us all, and we all want the same thing - the best thing for our country/communities. The parts we disagree on are 1) what is the “best thing;” and 2) how do we achieve it?
I think the trick here (and this is not to sound sociopathic, I’m serious) is to remove emotion, as best we can, from the conversation. We should be able to look at issues objectively, find facts and stats alone, remove sensationalism and sob stories, and think critically and clinically about public policy. Tapping into emotion is, from my perspective, one of the most damaging things we can do in political discourse. The reason for that is because once you invite emotion, to disagree largely equates to invalidation.

Answer

I have respectful debates all the time on social issues.
I see them all the time on here as well.
I feel completely open to being able to say “hey I’m a conservative” even when we are debating something that the gop didnthat royally sucks.
It’s all about how we phrase things and talk to one another.
I agree that there’s a mindset of us vs them and everyone wants to one up the other, but we aren’t doomed.
It’s all about respectfully having a conversation

has trying to see both sides become controversial?

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