My mans unusual ways

So it seems like my man will only have sex with me if he’s been drinking. And I mean drinking a lot! And then when he wants sex, he takes my hand and shoves it down his pants to a soft penis. It is so NOT hot and the alternative is sometimes he’ll roll over and snuggle with me, and stick a hand down my pants. I’m not opposed to a quickie done right, but seriously it turns me off so fast and we rarely have sex so sometimes I give in just because I need a fix. How do I explain that this behavior is not attractive?!