Sexual abuse

I need help. How how how do I tell my mum. She used to be a child minder. She would pick children up from school and bring them home to look after them and their parents would collect them in the evening. Two brothers took a liking to me. Don’t wanna go into too much. Also at school, two different boys would touch me in front of students and teachers to which nothing was done. I managed to hide how I felt about all of this but my friend took me to her work place a few weeks ago and I saw one of the boys from school. I froze and asked my friend if we could leave. She called him over and asked if he knew me. He said “yeh we used to be close. How are you” to which I went bright red and run away. My friend now thinks I’m crazy. An old boyfriend also pushed me to do things even after I said no and didn’t want to. I really want to tell my mum but I don’t want her to blame herself as she looked after the boys and she would see that she should have noticed. I also wants to tell my boyfriend. I know he won’t see me any different but I feel like he might be annoyed I didn’t tell him sooner. I feel like a victim and from the day it first happened it kept happening and I feel like whats going to happen next... nothing has happened recently. Iv been with my boyfriend 5 years now and I haven’t had any issues. The last thing to happen to me was I was in bed one night and someone came in and touched me down there and my chest. Then left. I didn’t see who it was. I was about 11/12. Would I be better going to a professional? Getting help. I have Daddy issues too, abandonment issues relating to that. I hord everything because my dad got rid of all my stuff when I was a child. My dad fucked my family and left us, High and dry. Me my mum and my either were homeless in the middle of no where. My dad has recently come back into my life and has started to bring back bad memories and feelings. He continues to let me down to this day. My brother is training to be a counceler and he has said (jokingly) I’d be perfect for him to practice on as I have so many issues. He doesn’t know the half of it.

Do I go professional?

Do I tell my mum?

Do I tell my other half?

HELP!!

I DONT WANT SYMPATHY I WANT ADVICE!