These first 3.5 weeks after birth have been hell on earth!!! day 2 of being home i felt so sick like cold and flu symptoms. In addition to the dealing with the recovery process of having a baby i was also getting sick. i tried to push it off bc i didnt have a fever. day 2 of being home we had a pushy visitor that we couldnt say no to. so, fresh out of the hospital I had to do a deep clean of my house b4 they arrived because apparently no one else sees mess or knows how to clean up but me. *eyeroll* the house had been a wreck because the labor and stuff happened so fast we had to rush out. I asked my DH to clean several times but between cooking and cleaning i guess he cant do both *eyeroll* He would also go work a little throughout the day doing uber trying to come up with extra money because a whole nother story so anyway I was trying to be strong and hold it down at the house with my new baby and my daughter. Ffwd After suffering for a few more days and finally getting a fever, i went to the hospital and learned I actually had pneumonia. That being stated, i still couldnt get the time i needed to recover. nothing around the house was getting done so I just had to do it. I feel like all i was doing gave my husband the false impression that i was well and recovered but really i was just tired of living in a messy ass house and nothing getting done. The same pushy couple that came to visit on day 2 called my DH and invited him out for drinks/guys night..... I told my hubby he was crazy af if he thought he was going. he threw a fit about how he never gets guy time..........lets remember I am 7days postpartum AND I have pneumonia. The wife offered to come sit with me and the kids to "keep me company while the guys go out" .....hell no i dont need a babysitter i need my husband. a little over a week later my sister comes to visit. We live in Hawaii and she had already bought her ticket so there was no turning back. It was a COMPLETE NIGHTMARE. I thought she was coming to help and see baby but actually She wanted to be on vacation and tour the island so we had to fucking play tour guide 2 weeks pospartum at this point. Never been so exhausted and miserable in my life. she has two kids of her own but some how didnt understand that i was tired and just bitched about how she didnt spend over $1000 to come sit in the house..... so we were out every day until late trying to entertain her. It threw my whole schedule off and i couldnt pump my milk which caused my boobs to become engorged and my ducts to get clogged. talk about miserable. I cried last night from being in so much pain. I was so thankful when she left. I am exclusively pumping because I have big boobs and have the hardest time with position and latch so seemed like my milk is not coming. i felt so defeated last night. idk if i can keep doing it. To top everything off. my husbands grandmother who he was extremely close to, passed away and he wants us all to fly home to florida for the funeral. At this point im 3.5 weeks post. I told him I am physically exhausted and not well, and dont want to do all of that traveling with a newborn plus another young child. He threw a fit and basically gathered that i hate his family and dont want to be around them........ *eyeroll* I want to be there for him but I feel soooo overwhelmed and still in so much pain and I dont want my baby to get sick. I ended up folding bc i dont want him to resent me for not being there but as i sit here packing our stuff, i am upset and feeling resentment towards him... My husband is so perfect for me, i often feel like I dont deserve him. but with this, i feel like no one has given a shit about me or been considerate of what my body has gone through and still is going through. I feel like i was robbed of my recovery and rest time.