What to do.....

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for not even a month yet (i know it’s super short) but we’re already having issues. I feel like he’s suffocating me. He constantly shows up to my work and sometimes stays my entire shift. He constantly has to be around me, touching me. Prior to dating we were talking for almost 7 months. In that time I only got to hang out with my friends a small handful of times because he’s always wanting to see me. When I did get to hang out with my friends he would ask to come with. So I haven’t gone a day without seeing him in 7 months. 
Recently we’ve been fighting because I’ve told him how I felt about feeling suffocated. Things only got worse when my best friend came back in my life a few weeks ago. Me and my best friend hadn’t been talking for about a month or so. Now, my best friend and my boyfriend HATE each other. For good reason. They both talk about each other behind the others back. They both have feelings for me on more than a friend level. My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my best friend. But I can’t do that because my best friend has been there for 8 years now. So me and my boyfriend are supposed to talk today and figure out if we’re still gonna  be together or not. Any advice?

Answer

Run, run now run fast and run far. I’m never one to comment on these things and tell people to leave their significant others because I think it’s so immature to put that kind of assumption on someone else’s relationship you don’t know but girl let me tell you right now this is the beginning of a very toxic relationship and you need to get the hell out of it while you still can

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I’d say get rid of him bc he sounds controlling and it’s only gonna get worse.

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His behavior will probably only get worse with time...

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He sounds very clingy but it also sounds like you didn't start putting your foot down until just recently. Maybe he thought his behavior was okay. But now that you're going to have a chat about it I think you should be completely honest about how you want that time alone with your friends or at work. I wouldn't recommend ending the relationship so soon without giving it time to notice a difference in him, but if his behavior continues it's a red flag and could lead to worse things to deal with in the future.

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I wouldn’t put up with that. That’s very controlling

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I think that if you told him how you feel about being smothered, and he doesn’t back off, that’s a red flag that he’s controlling and possibly even abusive. On one hand, he has the right to his feelings over your best friend having feelings for you. Anyone would have negative feelings about that. That would make anyone feel insecure. On the other hand, he has to make a choice to trust you and he cannot choose your friends for you. So there has to be some middle ground there. If he insists that you are not friends with this person, then unfortunately this is not the guy for you. You need a guy who will be accepting of the situation. Someone who is strong enough to be secure with his place in your life and not try to make you give up your friends. 
As far as your friend goes, you should really think about what you are doing with him/her as a best friend and if it’s really fair to him/her to stay friends as well as fair to any relationship you might get into. I had a best friend of damn near 20 years who one day told me that he was madly in love with me. I had to stop the friendship right then and there unfortunately. It was unfair to him because maybe he felt strung along, even though that was not my intention, he knew darn well I only wanted to be friends with him. I had made that clear in the past. And he had only told me he loved me when he realized I was getting into a serious relationship with someone else. I don’t think that’s fair to anyone. It’s not fair to me because it makes me feel bad and guilty, it’s not fair to him because he has to watch me be in relationships and that has to hurt, and it’s not fair to my partner because he shouldn’t have to worry about a guy who is in love with me being around. We stay in touch on Facebook, and that’s about it now. In my eyes our friendship was real, but in his eyes, he was only in it because he thought we would eventually get together and that just was not the case. The whole time we were friends, he never had a girlfriend or even dated… Now that we haven’t been friends for a few years, he has gotten into a relationship and is very happy. So, I am happy for him even though I miss him as a friend. So, you really have to think about what’s best for the bigger picture sometimes.

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Tell him, see ya later 👋🏻
That boy is crazy, RUN.

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your boyfriend has a right to be upset if your best friend likes you on a more than just friends level but if he is suffocating you and it got worse after you talked to him about it then you already have your answer, don't be with him anymore.

What to do.....

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