**Content Warning** PPD after loss.

i am having such a hard time. I feel like I have really bad PPD but I dont wanna tell my husband and I dont wanna see a Dr. because I dont wanna make the baby I lost more real and I dont wanna pull all that up again in my heart. my attitude has changed. It was a lot. I hit a drubk guy who tried to end his life by jumping in front of my car, then lost our baby the next month, then this month almost lost my home and was displaced by the Carr fire for 5 days which is truly devastating. I also knew the boy lost in the fire with his sister and gma and thats making it all worse and its like he doesnt understand the way it is to be feeling all of this and I keep it to myself and today I tried to calmly say "Im overwhelmed" and he told me Im "Making it worse" it literally took so much to say I was overwhelmed as calmly as I did and it feels like no matter what I say hes gonna take it wrong. bleh. How do I get thru this ? It BLOWS because I have a lot of empathy and when hes like that I think, "Gee hes probably having a hard time cause of all weve been thru the last 3 months." so Im over here expressing my feelings in a healthy way like..."Hello?" & hes a good guy like he works 50 hours a week in 115+ weather so I can be home. He loves me and hes a great husband. Im just lost.