When will I feel like myself again?

This is a long post but I wanted to share my story and how I’m feeling 😕

My husband and I started TTC in October and finally got pregnant after 6 months. We were shocked, excited, and so in love with our little poppyseed. Around 7 weeks gestation I started bleeding, so went in for an ultrasound. They found that the baby had a very low heartbeat. I was told it could go either way and recommended I come back in 2 weeks to check the progress. Although they were optimistic, I knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t bleed the rest of the night or the next day but all my pregnancy symptoms were gone. The following evening I started having contraction like cramps and heavy bleeding that lasted for 6 hours before passing everything. It is the single worst thing that has ever happened to me. We were both devastated but knew we wanted to try again once my cycle returned. We are now on our third cycle of TTC since the miscarriage. I try to stay positive but I’m starting to feel hopeless. I’m 6 days past ovulation and can’t stop crying because Im already prepared for AF to show up next weekend. I feel like the world is going on without me but I’m stuck in my head counting down the days until my TWW is over only to be let down each month. Then I’ll anxiously wait for my fertile week to start and the cycle begins again. I feel like the only thing that will fill this void is getting pregnant again. I welcome any advice on how to deal with this grief. I just want to be myself again 😢