Hemorrhoid ?! Wtf! 😂😭

NO JOKE I was shaving that wholeeee area cuz I told my boo I’d let him stick it up there tomorrow. First time I’ve ever shaved my buttcrack (sorry TMI)!

I felt a bump, obviously had to take a pic of it and was like meh it’s skin color... maybe it’s supposed to be there, what do I know?

**Googles: bump on butthole**

I resist looking at pics for a minute until I read one of the first descriptions. My Broski (bromeister) has had them a few times and I’m like nah.... it doesn’t hurt. Can’t be!

**google images: bump on butthole hemorrhoid **

....Well ok then, that settles that. Im no doctor, but I definitely have a “thrombosed external hemorrhoid”. Yes definitely ... I’ve seen enough.

Just then, almost instantly my butt becomes extremely itchy. I had no symptoms until I shaved (very carefully) my butt, and bam 20 mins later it feels like a week old yeast infection in my butthole. HEMORRHOID? WTF?!

How long have you been there?!

How long do you plan to stay?!

Anyway... hoping for some insight from the lucky ladies and gentleman reading this that know first or secondhand, the dirty details.

Some lingering questions ....

1. How does one acquire a hemorrhoid of this kind? (Or any kind)

2. Do I need to/should I see a doctor or will it go away on it’s own, painlessly perhaps

3. Will it hurt eventually for sure (any hope of enjoying my weekend)

4. Buttsex or nah? (Mostly kidding)

Mind you I don’t have a doctor at the moment as I just moved a few months ago... *googles primary physicians good with hemorrhoid*

Actual video of me right now...