2 years and confused

So me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, clearly I love him. We have sex a lot. We started about two weeks into dating. Now two years into it I just don’t know what I think any more. I have been going threw a lot this year. My grand mother passed about this time last year, my step father (he raised me for 12 years) left me and my mom and stole over $5,000 from us and left us broke. And then my precious pup had to be put down. Then I wasn’t able to attend college where I was going to go and had to settle for local community college. I just feel so numb now. I’m very depressed and i know that. Oreo (the dog that was unfortunately put down) was kinda my emotional support dog. I just feel so lost and sad. And my boyfriend just doesn’t understand it. I feel like we are in two totally different places! And yesterday my ex boyfriend (the guy I lost my virginity to) contacted me, and I have been talking with him. Not flirty or anything just trying to be friends. i just feel like I’m at a breaking point. I feel like I have nothing in my home that I can care about anymore since Oreo. And my mother refused to get another pet. I just need help. I feel like my boyfriend isn’t interested in me anymore. I don’t feel sexy anymore I have gained some weight. I just don’t know. Please if anyone has any helpful advice I’ll take it.