So I’ve lived with my boyfriend for about 5 months now and we’ve been together since May 2017. We’ve talked about marriage and have met each other’s friends and families. Then we went on a fun trip about a month ago and when we got back, I think we just got really lazy. I slacked off on working out and he’s been all about his video games and football. He was kind of weird this weekend and we went to see my family and ended up having a fight about something stupid. Then on the drive back he called and talked to his brother on speakerphone for an hour (it was a long drive). When we got home, I asked if he did that bc he didn’t want to talk to me and he said yes just wanted to give me time to cool off.

Then I started doing the dishes and just started balling and he came and hugged me and I apologized for the fight. Then he didn’t say anything back, and I said you don’t have to stay with me out of obligation. And he said I know, but was acting weird. Then I asked him if something was going on and did he still see a future with us and that I just wanted us to be on the same page. He said he didn’t know and listed off some things he was thinking about (I would have to move away from family - he’s in the air force). And I said I know that, I knew that from the start, im fine with that. Do you want to be with me? That’s the only thing that matters. Then he started crying and said I’m he didn’t know, something is missing and doesn’t know what but he wants me in his life and doesn’t know if this is normal to feel or not. I said I don’t know, and told him I do want to with him and I love him.

Then came Sunday, and it was the most painfully long and awkward day with both of us trying to act normal. We went to bed early (I was in bed at like 8:30), I think we’re just emotionally exhausted. He’s also not sleeping well and has stress with his job so that’s not helping. And he could possibly be leaving the state ina year or so, so if we broke up I would never see him again and that terrifies me. I’m so scared but I feel like us being together all the time isn’t helping . But if we decide to take a break, I’m afraid it will be over. Maybe I should go stay with a friend for the next weekend, and that will give us time to think? I’m just terrified of losing him but I think he’s withdrawing from me