Help 😞

Posting anon simply because I feel like a horrible mom for this. I love my son to death, I love my husband, and I love my job (as much as you can love a job). My son is 3 months old now, I went back to work when he was 7 weeks old. Past couple weeks (and worse in the past couple days), it just feels like my life has been reduced to service. My husband does help out when he is home, but he works 50-60 hours a week. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week on midnights. I just feel like I’m either at work (which is service-based at its core), or at home. Very rarely ever get out, simply because I don’t have time between work and my son. When I’m at home, I’m either sleeping or doing something with/for my son. I love playing with him, but I miss the freedom of childless life. I’m seriously crying because I know there are women who would kill to be able to have a child, and I’m not regretting it, but I do miss part of my life before him. I just feel like I’m nothing but a server; I help people at work, I take care of my son at home, I do what I can around the house, I try to get enough sleep to keep my sanity and safety at work. Am I the only one who’s ever felt like this? Everyone always says how amazing being a mom is, and I have those moments too, but not as much as I thought I would. Instead of finding purpose as a mom, I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself.