Drunk texts and missing him

I went through my first heartbreak back in May, I miss him so much and it’s tearing me apart, I think about him every single day there literally hasn’t been a day since i started talking to him that he hasn’t been on my mind, for a little while I thought I was getting better and I started to move on a bit, but I feel right back into him even harder than before, I saw him on a night out and I walked past him, we held eye contact for so long as we walked past and I literally felt sick I missed his face so much, he almost looked shocked and hurt aswell that he saw me but I thought he just didn’t care about me all this time, he later that night drunk messaged me on Snapchat and I was asleep so I didn’t open it till hours later, I can’t help but think if I was awake for that I could have talked to him like I used to and maybe i could have had a relationship with him again, does this mean he still thinks of me sometimes and could realize he messed up? Beachside I literally would do anything for him, anything he asked I would gladly do because I was so head over heels for him and I miss him so much, I can’t even reach out to him anymore though because im too scared of getting hurt again