Feeling conflicted...

So my second baby was born at the end of May. I decided that I didn’t want to restart my birth control after this baby because I just didn’t like all the adjustments my body had to go through while on it. My husband and I want one more baby but he definitely wants to wait a little longer. When we are intimate though he doesn’t care to do anything to prevent pregnancy. Right now I’m 8 DPO and we were intimate the day before ovulation. So I’m waiting to see now if I might be pregnant again.

Anyway, part of me is dying to have another baby, but part of me is terrified because we’re not anywhere near financially ready for a third baby and part of me doesn’t want it because I don’t want my baby making days to be over. I am kinda in a constant internal struggle between hoping AF doesn’t come and really hoping it does. And I just am feeling crazy and kinda on he verge of tears if either outcome happens.

Any words of encouragement or wisdom or even advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Also, here’s my beautiful LO. Just because cute babies are life!