Doctor delivered difficult news

Yesterday I went to my annual GYN appointment I had been waiting for. I have been tracking my cycle for months, hoping for some answers. Since stopping birth control last year, I have had some irregular cycle's. The longest lasting 101 days and I was sure something was wrong.

My husband was finally on board to try for a baby, not an easy task believe me. We have been married 5 years and I am ready. I have been closely monitoring my cycles and started prenatals last month. I'm ovoulation this week!

It is a new doctor, she couldn't have been sweeter. She comes in and in ten minutes my world has flipped. She tells me my blood test and hormone levels look normal, my thyroid is fine. She believes my menstrual problems are due to stress and my weight. She would like be to go back on birth control immediately. I should absolutely not be trying to get pregnant.

I start crying and I can stop. I cried though the breast exam, hardly noticed the internal exam. As she is doing my pap smear, she is telling my vagina that since I need to loose 50lb I need to look out this upcoming holiday season. I CAN'T STOP CRYING. Not because she is wrong, because she is right. I'm 25 years old and the heaviest I have ever been at 185lbs standing just at 4'11. I have been trying so hard to loose weight and all I seem to do is gain.

Last spring I was down 30lb and feeling great. I got terribly sick and gained it all back. I have been discouraged. My husband has made it clear in so many words that although he loves me, I need to loose weight ( he is skinny as a rail). My mother can't stop talking about it, she would love to loose weight too. The stress of it all keeps me eating. The doctor doesn't know all this, and so I cry.

I woke up this morning clearer, more determined ready to take on my health. Am I still sad? Of course, this is not how I thought I would be planning my next few months but, this is where we are. So, today is day 1 of my weight loss journey. Day 1 to a better version of me. Day 1 on my journey to a healthier pregnancy, healthy baby and family. Day 1 on my journey to love myself enough to care for me properly.

I'm popping in a neuvering, throwing my hair in a bun and getting to work.

Goodbye 185 hello Happy and healthy me.

************

A few people asked for an update here it is:

Thank you all so much for your input and advice, it has been so helpful. My husband and I have decided I will not go back on birth control, it caused so many problems for me before it's not worth it. Not sure why I even considered it.

I have spoken to some friends that actually go to the same practice. Many have had issues with this same doctor giving incorrect diagnosis. She diagnosed my friend with a bladder infection after 2 min of talking with no other knowledge, she was pregnant and didn't know it.

So while I don't think she is wrong, I need to loose weight and to be healthier, I'm not going to let it stop me from trying for a baby.

My husband was a little scared by the doctor and her advice, he wants to wait now before trying again. Hopefully he will listen to me over her.

Thank you all again.