FTM need advice about extended family *long*

So we live in Tennessee and my BD family lives in Chicago, about 9 hours away.

Our daughter will be 3 months old on Nov 8 and she’s only met his mom and brother , none of the rest of his family.

They threw me a baby shower and all talked about how excited they were and begged for us to tell them the second I went into labor. Well when it came time that I had to be induced we let them know a week early and his mom said “oh she will be born on a Wednesday? I can’t come because I have a Rascal Flatts concert that Friday”. We were both hurt, but I was warned when we started dating about 3 years ago they were selfish. They wouldn’t even let me Invite the one friend I gave up there to the baby shower because they didn’t like her. But anyway, she met his mom and brother when she was 2 weeks old. Fast forward to October, we were supposed to drive up to see them and go to a friends wedding. The day before both baby and i got slightly sick and his mom said “well that sucks for me” and we didn’t go. They were supposed to see us on the way down to Florida but because they are mad we didn’t come up, they drove through without saying anything. I’m honestly very upset. They want to get to know my daughter but only when it’s convenient for them to have a photo op to look involved. I reach out to them all the time and hardly hear back. I just feel defeated and don’t want temporary people in my daughters life. When his mom will post a billion pics of her other 2 grandchildren. I don’t want mine to grow up wondering why Grammy doesn’t love her like that. What do I do? Do I just keep my mouth shut and keep going to them? Or do I say “hey she’s only 3 months old, if you can drive to Florida you can drive here to see her for a little while”