Overwhelmed and confused

I am 38 years old and me and my common law partner are trying to get pregnant he’s 46.

I called my mom to get some answers the fertility doctor needed as we are trying fertility clinics after 2 miscarriages and 2 years of trying still nothing. While my mom was answering them she was also calling selfish and foolish cause I’m too old to be starting a family again.

My ex husband has my 14 year old son and I haven’t seen him in 3 years due to alienating him from me and my family with lies.

Am I stupid for thinking of having one with a man who truly loves me now? I feel so lost and confused but mostly empty.

I’m not trying to replace my son, I’m simply trying to fill this spot that only a child could fill because I was Robbed of my past offspring.

38 isn’t really old is it?