In so upset!! LONG POST

My husband is always worrying about his younger brother who is already and adult and recently has started his own family. We always get mixed into his crap, ALL.THE.TIME. I try to keep my husband out of it because we have two kids if our own and are trying to buy land and build a home plus the holidays are around the corner. This weekend we got his drunk brother mad because our son hit our daughter and we were trying to let him know it wasn’t ok to do that without spanking or screaming at him but his brother didn’t want us to say anything at all to our son. He grabs my son from us and tells us we need to let him do whatever he wants. What!? I got my son back and told my husband to help me grab our stuff so we could go home. Somehow his brother ended up leaving and I wanted to leave before he went back to my in laws house but they wanted to spend more time with the kids so I stayed. BIG MISTAKE!!! My BIL came back quick and he starts trying to hit my husband! My husband is way way bigger than he is so there’s 3 guys holding back my husband because he apparently did get a punch to my husbands face. I put my son down and ran outside but my husband was already extremely upset. We tried for about 30 minutes to calm them down but neither would listen so I grabbed my scared screaming and crying kids, left and called the cops to help out my in laws and family. The next day my husband wanted to go see his parents to apologize when in reality he just defended himself but since he is older he felt horrible, and also my FIL took a punch to the face from trying to keep them away from each other so my husband wanted to make sure he was ok and wanted to let them know he was just defending himself. I don’t side with either of them BTW. well when we went the following day everyone’s is treating my BIL as if the whole situation wasn’t his fault, buying him beer trying to make him feel better from his ugly bruised eye he works for my husband and he quite telling him he was going to work out of town to get away, I was so happy because he’s just drama so I told my husband to leave it that way but no he went and told him he needed him there but in reality he just doesn’t want to have him leave because he wants to keep an eye on him. That boy is always being babied and I keep telling my in laws they need to let him figure out his own crap already and let him take care of his problems on his own because they baby him so much he keeps repeating the same problems over and over because he knows he will never get crap for his shitty decisions. He’s not 21 yet and he drinks so when I called the cops about the fight I mentioned it to them and they said he was for sure getting arrested and my in laws would be responsible for allowing it. Sure enough my MIL got word that the cops where called and she hid him inside her house! I told my husband to just leave me out of his life and his drama because I’m so tired of having to bail him out every single time and now my husband is upset with me saying I don’t support him?🙄 we’ve spent money to take him out of prison, we got him a job, his car and phone is under our name and he’s been slacking on payments, we try to discipline our kids and he butts in, he hurts my husband and in laws and his wife and much much more but I’m the bad one. I’m just so frustrated I feel like I have an 18 year old son because my in laws never acted like parents and now we’re stuck with him.