I love my boyfriend but it's hard to to get paranoid?

I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship previously, and it seems like I'm seeing signs that my boyfriend of several months is possibly going in that direction... and I'm scared.

Im not sure if I'm reading into things too much or being paranoid.

But I'm afraid things could get bad.

When I bring concerns to him, he's being mean & defensive, saying that my problem is made up or in my head, he hasn't done anything wrong, it's a "first world problem", naming problems he is having to diminish my problem, when I'll im asking for is him to listen and not dismiss my feelings, or a little assurance that he likes me.

But he feels like I am saying hes not doing enough or that I am trying to manipulate him...

Im kind of confused why this goes so badly, he was making it worse, but blames me for the entire thing, saying I'm doing it to myself & need to develop self confidence- and I basically just think he doesn't get what I'm saying.

But whatever, I told him I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and letting it go for now.

But I'm worried about the future of my relationship, unfortunately. I cannot tell when I'm being emotionally abused. I think some of the things he said were very triggering for me, I'm afraid he is going to hurt me like my ex.

I feel like he's not able to look outside himself and hear me out, he already appears to have decided exactly what is going on, and he keeps telling me I'm the one that can't see outside of myself.

He is also making other diminishing comments about small things, and I'm very suspicious about why he's doing this stuff. Or if im literally being crazy, lol.

He seems to think I have no self confidence? But that's not true.

He talks to me like he knows better.

But I know I'm pretty wise actually.

Im unsure what he is up to. But he thinks im up to something every time I'm sad (which im just kind of a sad/chill person.)

He wants me not to be sad or thinks I'm trying to make him sad and hurt him.

I just want the freedom to feel how I feel.