Unexpectedly Pregnant

I started using Glow to keep track of ovulation because I was tired of being on birth control and how it affected me physically and emotionally. I was with an amazing man and he wanted everything with me - live together, marriage, children - and I was scared shitless. I allowed my fear of abandonment and intimacy keep me in denial about how I really felt about him and kept him at arm’s length for months on end as he tried to show me that he was devoted. Long story short, I hurt him for far too long because I was too fearful to embrace the truth that I loved this man and wanted the very things he wanted with me, with him. So I tried apologizing and felt really lost and desperate because he had really tried to get over us when I pushed him away, and I was finally ready to go all in. We still saw each other a bit here and there. I had used a morning after pill after we had sex in late October, but Glow said I was late. My period is not necessarily regular, so I didn’t think much of it. I had also lost a bit of weight from the depression and grief over our situation, so I thought maybe I was just late due to being under weight. We spent Thanksgiving together and I loved our time together. We also had sex then. I found out shortly thereafter that I was pregnant from October. I wanted to tell him in person, but he wasn’t being responsive at all. Emotional, upset and irritated, I showed up at his place. It didn’t go well. He was so mean. I told him either he was lashing out from the hurt, or I had been right to be scared and not believe he and his love were real. I was devastated and it almost felt like a switch had been flipped. Is this really the man I wanted to be with? I want to have this man’s child? He texted and apologized for his harshness and unresponsiveness. He said we should pick a day to talk about everything. I was still unsure, but texted back OK. We haven’t planned it yet, but tonight I saw him at an event we were both working and when he came to say hello, he had the same sweetness and caring in his eyes that he used to. I just really hope we can work things out and be a healthy loving couple to raise this child together. Otherwise, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. Please wish us luck. Part of the decision is my age - I’m a little older, so I feel like I want to have this baby. I’ve never felt this way before.