I’m so unhappy

I’m 21 years old, I was born into a family full of addicts but I was never abused or left without what I was needed. My mom was the best mom she could be while still doing her thing. My mom passed away when I was 13... on my brothers 9th birthday in a drunk driving accident where her boyfriend or drug friend at the time was heavily intoxicated and killed her instantly. My dad has been in and out of jail my whole life on drug charges or theft or whatever. Well when I was 12 my dad got clean got married and then hurt his back and the medicine got him back to doing drugs. He went to jail for possession and was homeless for a few weeks and then finally got himself into a rehab. The rehab lasted a year and he seems perfect. He started believing in god and he got a job that pays well and got his license back and was getting his own place. Well a couple weeks ago the first night in his new apartment by himself he overdosed and died and the medics were able to revive him in enough time. But he was in ICU for a week and a half and he was heavily sedated so I had to make all legal and medical decisions for him since my brother is only 16. It was the hardest thing ive ever had to do and watch. Talking to my brother about what was going on was the hardest part of it all. I think he was starting to resent me for wanting to give my father the ultimatum of doing what I say and going to a new facility for rehab or not being in my life. Regardless on top of that I’m struggling so hard financially. I am barely paying bills because I’m in college and i got behind in my classes due to spending so much time with my father in the hospital and working. And now my boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot recently. Nothing major but just bickering and it’s stressing me out more. I’m stuck and don’t know how to get myself out of this mindset. I would NEVER commit suicide no matter how bad the situation would get but I can’t lie... I have thought that itd be a lot easier or just not be here. This isnt a cry for attention this is simply me wanting to rant because I can’t really speak the way I want to the people around me.