Bipolar questions?

So I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar for 1 1/2 now. I don’t really have anybody to talk to about my bipolar neither do I really like talking about it. But I just feel so bad because I’m always so easily snappy with my SO and even my kids. I literally hate myself mainly because of this. I can be perfectly fine and one little thing can flip my mood completely. And I literally never realize it until hours later. Does anyone else with bipolar do this? Am I like this because of my bipolar? The only time I ever really get out the house is when I’m in a manic episode. So I don’t go to my doctor as often as I’m suppose to and I never remember to ask him about this when I do see him.