So I just want to vent cause I’m feeling a bit hormonal and crappy.. I have a 7 yo step son in grade 2.. who we have only had for about 9 months. He’s so far behind in all areas of life, school, social, etc. I have to spend a lot of time with extra homework and dr appointments & behavioural issues he has at school, I’ve gotten into a routine of always checking his backpack because there is always always something to be done with him, something about his behaviour, catch up homework, or papers to sign for another program he needs to be put in to catch up on something or help him develop faster. My daughter on the other hand just started kindergarten this year, it sucks I would feel like because she is my biological daughter her starting school feels a bit more special to me because my step son has gone thru it all already with hi other family & we lived super far away at the time he started & It wasn’t as easy to be as excited for him. We were excited but being so far it wasn’t like the same? Idk (Sounds so bad but I can’t lie & act like it was) this is my baby girls first year in school.. I check her backpack and there is barley anything in there ever. No homework, no papers.. the odd news letter. So checking her backpack isn’t really something I remember doing because there is never really anything in there.. but there has been a couple times where I would find birthday invites, awards etc in our random paper stack that builds up in her corner thingy, I don’t remember finding them in her backpack. Idk if it were her or her dad who took them out and put them in the paper stack.. but when I find these things I get so heart broken. My baby missed a birthday party, when my step son has went to one because I find them while checking his everyday.. I just found a paper while I was looking for other papers I needed and found her parent teacher interview papers from NOvember!! ☹️😭 we missed her first parent teacher interview but not our sons where of course we already know basically everything he’s been doing and has to do to catch up. I just thought well maybe kindergarten doesn’t need parent teacher interviews 🤦🏼‍♀️ how does this happen. I feel shitty cause I caught myself blaming someone else for my mistake. I was feeling so robbed of her first year of school due to that fact I have been so busy & worried & invested in my step son catching up due to someone poor lack of raising & teaching. & my baby is getting the short end of the stick. I’m upset that I’m feeling this way. I know it’s my fault for not keeping up with her things the same way I do with his. I feel like a crappy parent. But she doesn’t even realize any of it.. ( I hope ) I need to step my game up before she starts noticing how much we miss of her & how much more her brother gets. I’m pregnant with our fourth & im like holy crap how am I going to keep up with four of them being in school, homework, parent teacher interviews, after school stuff 😳 gotta step up my game!!

Go ahead & say what you want. I already know it is completely my fault, not to blaming anyone but myself. It’s just this feeling I caught myself in, I know it’s not hard to just check her back pack, everyday even if I doubt there will be something. School is starting again on Monday & I am determined to make it a routine that I check hers everyday even if there never is anything. Just needed to vent because I’m all pregnant and hormonal & found these damn papers that i don’t even know how they got put in this random box I was looking thru.

Dumb vent over. ☹️