Baby fever

I guess the best way I should start this is by saying I am 18 years old, a month away from being 19. For the past few months my baby fever has been through the roof. I want to have a baby so bad, I know I’d be a phenomenal mother. Ive worked my way all the way up to lead teacher at the preschool I’m working at. I work with the one year olds. I know that I’m not old enough, Im not prepared, I don’t even make a decent enough living to afford a child. However, I also think pregnancy might be my saving grace when it comes to the motivation to get my life together and finding myself. My boyfriend doesn’t want a child, he’s 21. I’ve brought up to him once about my feelings and how if there was a time that I ever did get pregnant I wouldn’t be upset because I want a baby. He said he knows and maybe one day sooner than I think. Today a friend of ours sent a video of his baby saying hi and waving to the camera and my heart melted. My boyfriend said, I can see why people have kids, their so cute. It’s the raising them that’s the hard part. I just kinda gave him a small smile while staring at the ground and he gave me a small hug. I think he knows how much this is affecting me. It’s just so hard because even if I was a few years older I wouldn’t be shamed for having these feelings :/