Controlled/ I'm miserable

I need help, advice or just words of encouragement.

Back history; I've always been controlled, by my parents at first which was From; friends, relationships, school/work choices, cars, homes, etc. This started from a young age by them. So for examples from each, they chose my friends (Oh, you can't be friends with her as she is bad for you, you can't be friends with her coz she- comments on a person's looks- or if they were diasabled). They chose my relationships, even going far enough in splitting us up. They made me take certain classes and would not let me "quit" my apprenticeship even though I was in my late teens. They lost it when I got my piercings/ tattoos, when I got my Ute, even went as far to say that when I moved out (they picked the unit) that I would be home in 3 months as I would not be able to look after myself. I fell pregnant at 23 years old with my boyfriend and they lost It, the old man threatened to kill my boyfriend, even loaded his gun, etc. I haven't spoken to him or the mother in 5 years which has been so nice. No, i do not miss them and I want nothing to do with them ever again for what they've done to me.

Now I'm finding I'm allowing my boyfriend to control me too. I don't talk to friends he doesn't like any more. We have 2 kids together but I'm finding myself wanting to leave a lot. I'm a sahm with no income and live in a town with no rentals. I don't want to move to another town as they are all 20 mins away. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel ugly all the time around him as he talks down to me a lot and he sometimes comments on how much I've changed in 10 years. I know I'm not fun anymore. I used to think he was my best friend and I told him everything. Now I barely say a full sentence coz it's like he is exasperated for even trying to talk to me in the first place.

I do the same things every day. Wake up, feed the baby, feed my child, make the beds (we sleep in separate rooms for many reasons, not necessarily because we want to), collect the dirty clothes from off the floor, do the washing/dishes, vacuum, fold clothes, screaming the whole time coz I'm so over it. I sometimes feel like the kids hate me coz I don't give them enough attention.

I'm fucking miserable and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the shittest person alive and I don't know why. I don't want to hurt myself and I don't but occasionally the thought crosses my mind. Help me please.