36Weeks Pregnant and Fucking Depressed

I am so fucking depressed right now...I'm thinking I could just be over emotional from being sleep deprived over the last couple days...and bored from having nowhere to be or anyone to see. I tend to get irritable/weepy when I'm sleep deprived also.

I just moved into my new place that I was so excited about. I'm supposed to be happy. Maybe it's the drop from all the buildup of the initial excitement of moving in. I've been sitting here in tears for the last half hour. I haven't worked a day all these last 9 months, I have almost no girlfriends. I feel so alone and bored with my life, like I'm wasting it and have wasted it. I feel depleted. All I want to do right now is have a fucking job again and a social life. I am tired of the same mundane routine and the same four walls.

I think it's not having left the house all day that's got me like this.

Even something as drastic as adoption had crossed my mind yesterday. Because I'm that damn bored and depressed. I just want out. I want to be able to have a girls night out and go have fun or do SOMETHING. I could try reconnecting with old acquaintances but I'm always hesitant to reach out to people. I feel like I'd look like an idiot.

Idk if this is postpartum depression starting to set in...or maybe it will all fall into place once the baby is here.

I have no idea how to deal with the highs and lows from excitement to not wanting to be pregnant that I've experienced this whole time.