Should I Give Him a Chance or Strict Co-Parenting?
Hi Ladies , not looking for any judging just asking for your opinion about a dilemma I have. So here is the story:
I have 3 children and my ex was a complete liar and cheater but I stayed as long as I could for the kids. After he had cheated on me with several prostitutes I was done. But my trust in men was gone. I started to date after a few months of breaking up and there was one guy I met that I really liked and he liked me. We had sex 3 times and well, I got pregnant. He didn’t think the baby was his for the longest. Anyway by time I was 7 months he saw a sonogram photo on Facebook and he contacted me and said the baby picture looks like him and he asked me was it his. At that time ( please don’t judge me ) I was like no. I didn’t want anything to do with this guy because when I got pregnant he kept talking to other women, sleeping with them and didn’t think it was his. On top of that he is from another country and here in the US as a visitor but had over stayed and can’t go back. He works but not legally . He drives but doesn’t have a legal license. He is not a bad person but we’re both in our early 30s and he does appear to be immature in some things. Like not as ambitious but a little. He seems like he needs a mother sometimes.
Anyway some time passed, and he kept contacting me and I finally admitted it was his but I didn’t want him around right now because his past drama and immaturity. After I admitted it. In a matter of 2 days he went from liking me to loving me. Everyday missing me. Bringing me food from his mom. Asking questions and talking about baby as if we’re together. Then he told his whole family (he once told me they were racist and uppity) I am an educated black classy woman. They are European. Now he saying they love me and excited about the baby etc. etc. I don’t know what to believe because it came from his mouth that they were not nice. They want him to live with me. Talking about we need to work for the baby and be together etc. etc.
In my head I think maybe they just want him to get his papers ( married for paper). I don’t know. But I won’t lie the mother had been very nice. But her son fed me a different versing of her even though now he claims it’s the last and now they accept me because I have his baby. He wants to be a family.
I’m educated. Have 3 little boys. I care for. I pay my bills. I own a home and rent another home. I work full time and have a great career. I’m beautiful and successful.
He is ok. He is a gentleman. Romantic type and sometimes views love as a young kid floating in rainbows. He has 1 other son and I will admit he is an attentive dad. But he doesn’t have anything going on for him right now. he claims one day when he gets his papers her will do everything.
What do you think? I can’t pull my pregnant brain together to reason.