Video Game Addiction

My husband is addicted to video games and I don’t know how to deal w it. He’s usually considerate and emotionally mature and we can usually talk things out rationally and respectfully. But when he’s in a video game binge he acts like a punk ass teenager: impatient, rude, defensive.

Last night he didn’t come home from work. He said he was going to see friends. Instead he bailed on his friends and was at his office till 1AM playing video games alone. I texted him, around midnight and he didn’t text back which is unusual. He doesn’t usually stay out that late on weekenights. When he finally did write back he was super defensive about it.

I don’t know how to talk to him about it without seeming judgmental or nagging. Honestly, I do judge him for it. Playing video games all day and night is pathetic to me. When we met he was a triathlete. He did the iron man. He usually runs to keep burn off stress.

I can’t judge too harshly bc I like to unwind with netflix and weed. But I don’t isolate and get rude and defensive about it. I’m willing to give up my vice if he needs me to do that for him to give up his, but i’m not sure that will help.

These games are designed to be addictive (we both work in tech and i’m well aware of the research that goes into making these trigger / reward loops). I feel like these games are taking hm away from me.