Help me...

So, I’ve been married for 13 years. And I’ve been having a problem. You see, I feel like a failure. He’s always mad or aggravated at me. For one thing or another. Yesterday it was because I flipped off a driver when they pulled out in front of us. Then we found out that our 7 year old son stole gum from the store. Which is my fault because he said I used to steal when I was younger. Then our daughters attitude is my fault because I show mine on occasions. Then, he decides to tell me that he’s mad at me because I didn’t ask him to proofread my essay for english. That I asked my brother to proof it. Thing is with the essay, I don’t want to bother him by asking him to do something for me because any time I don’t understand things the way he thinks I should, he gets mad at me! So why the hell would I put myself thru that?! Either way I was fucked!

He’s always mad at me. The essay thing was at the beginning of the week on Tuesday & he’s been mad at me this whole time! I’m having a problem with this! He’s always on his phone playing games or watching tv. I beg for attention all the time & don’t receive it. I sit in a corner by myself all the time being ignored & unhappy. I try to do romantic things for us all the time. Bubble baths that he turns down because he’s playing Candy Crush. I planned an anniversary trip to Branson for the weekend of our anniversary & had to cancel it because he’d rather stay at home & watch tv & play his game. I ask if he wants to have sex & he always has an excuse to turn me down. I try to cuddle with him on the couch, but end of being ignored for Candy Crush & the tv. It’s not that I don’t want to be with him anymore. He’s the love of my life. I’ve tried talking with him about this, but I get shut down so damn fast that the whiplash kills me. I have nobody to talk to. He’s supposed to be my best friend... but I feel so alone.

I don’t want or need excuses. I want & need advise on how to handle what I’m going thru. It’s to the point that I just don’t want to be on this earth anymore because I always do something wrong & he’s never happy... I’ve been dealing with this for years, but it’s gotten worse over the past 8 months it seems.

UPDATE:

I asked him why he’s always so mad at me. His response “because were different” I guess things that bother me don’t bother him. I get that. But why condemn me for how I feel? Why make me feel like shit? He said that he just wants me to change. You guys have no idea how much I’ve changed for this man already. I’m always the one changing. He’s so quick to point out my flaws but never checks his own. And god forbid you point his out. Then I’m a bitch who doesn’t know shit. And I’m the one that’s the problem. Then he threatens to leave me. All because I point out a flaw that he has because it’s causing him to hurt me emotionally & mentally. So I walked away crying. His response “why the fuck are you crying?!” It’s because I feel like a complete & utter failure in life. I say that & he has no idea what to say. First time ever!