I’m a real witch without sleep. I try not to be. But I have been since I was a kid. My mother is still a morning sing songs, Snow White with the animals kinda happy in the morning. I’m not. It used to make her so mad in the mornings. It still does. She didn’t get kids who were morning people.

It did not get better into adulthood. Now, I’m a mom. All that did was give me tiny impressionable kids who see how terrible I am in the morning. My son got my mother’s morning personality. He’s up before the sun. He’s immediately in GO and LOUD and I’m awake therefore the world should be going mode. He has been this way his whole life.

It’s annoying to his tired parents. But we love him to death. Thankfully, my husband is better in the mornings than I during the week because he gets up for work.

I’m pregnant. I already feel like a hormonal giant beached whale. The weather is 60 below one week and 75 this week. I’m cooking. We aim to be knocked up in the winter because I’m a walking heater not pregnant. I hate being hot. And honestly, I despise the outdoors. Bugs, sweat, allergies, pollen, and snakes and ticks. Something else that didn’t go away with childhood. Let me be inside. With the AC on.

But with the sudden summer like warm up, we had to go outside yesterday. My boys played in the mud. They threw sticks. And probably ruined two different pairs of pants. Eh so what? Childhood is made for those things. (I was like a sweating mule, but whatever.)

I also had what became a two hour OB appointment where she kept me waiting for nearly an hour and half. She was busy jawing outside the room they put me in.

So between the running outside, a

Short nap, the OB appointment, the baths, and everything, I had hoped my youngest would sleep in. And I had hoped I would sleep long and hard.

I’m pregnant.

This is a pipe dream.

So between the getting up to pee, the baby kicking (I love that bc he’s pretty chill in there, but he picked last night to decided to be ninja baby.), the fact that it felt like 200 to me even with the fan on, and my husband’s snoring...I didn’t exactly get the sleep I was hoping for.

Somewhere around 5:30 am, I crashed. 5:57 my oldest was in my face. He said he wet the bed. He’s 5. Honestly, he had to get up to pee. And a drop came out. We don’t even have to get up for school until 7.

Shortly after, the youngest was up. And that’s when I couldn’t function. I changed his diaper. And came into the kitchen for breakfast. I felt like a zombie. My husband was already helping with my oldest. God love him.

And my youngest decides to do that thing one year olds do. The arch your back, fight with all 20 pounds of you before you’ll put your feet in the high chair. Somehow the combination of 20

Pound fighting toddler and baby belly and zero sleep caused my back to pop. I yelled at my kid. At freaking 7 am. My sweet one year old who didn’t know why I was yelling. I yelled he was hurting me. My back completely locked. And he was still fighting me.

I have issues with a misaligned spine and hips. My hips can completely pop over an inch out of their radius. Believe it or not, it was caused by my first born. I had a relapse of it shortly after my second child was born. It’s not pleasant, but a couple of months with a chiropractor can fix it. After I give birth. I still struggle with my back locking. Mostly muscles. I knew it wasn’t serious. Just a bad pull. Some Yoga would help if I had any energy this morning at all.

I lost my temper. I wanted to cry. And my husband asks what I felt was the most asinine question.

Did you sleep okay?

I was literally holding up the wall in pain from

My back and my angry toddler. And I snapped. NO. I HAD 15 minutes of sleep.

Why? 😡😡😡

Why? Because I’m carrying your child who kicked me all night. Because your oldest wet the bed and woke me up 20 minutes after I went to sleep. Because you snore and our bedroom was sweltering. Because I was the “good”

Mom and went outside in the warm weather so my allergies are screaming and I have a headache. Because I’m heading into the final stretch of this pregnancy!

I was not nice. My kids didn’t need to hear me snap. My husband didn’t deserve the outburst. All I really feel like doing is crying.

My husband attempted to help me unlock my back and it snapped again. It hurt. He was hurting me. And he was in a hurry. And if he didn’t stop I was gonna curse in front of the kids. I really don’t need my kid going to his Christian preschool and announcing to the pastors there that mommy was mean again this morning and she said sh*t.

Because he will. And he will do it at prayer time. “Pray for my mommy because she’s mean and yelled at daddy and said sh*t.” 😑😑 He got in trouble for saying fart so I highly doubt that would go over well.

So here I sit with my back aching. My house is a wreck. Dishes in the sink. Laundry everywhere. Someone put my kids muddy shoes on the table in the living room. 🙄 My husband left his dirty laundry in the hall. I used to keep a clean house. I used to cook. And I used have it together.

But right now, I’m mean. This kid is kicking. Youngest is crying. And all I want to do is curl up on this couch.

Such a stupid first world issue. Nobody is hurt. Nobody is dying. But I wanna sob because I’m “tired.” Like seriously, suck it up and get the day going. 😑🙄🤷🏻‍♀️🤰🏻🤦🏻‍♀️😴