So I'm gonna jump right in to this. I met my bff (Anna) when I was 15. I was a shy, dorky, weird looking kid and she was this fun, bubbly, popular girl. We met when I started riding at her barn and despite our differences, we became inseparable. We're now in our mid 20s. We went down very different paths starting in our late teens: she dropped out of high school, got involved in some terrible mentally/emotionally abusive partners, could never hold down even a minimum wage job, was always having money problems, etc; I joined the military, went to college, currently house shopping in a big city with my long term boyfriend, etc. But we still talk frequently and see each other every few months and are still considered each other's best friends, I don't think any less of her for the life she chooses to live, I just wish she put more effort into said lifestyle and at the very least could make it to work on time or not smoke on the job so she stopped getting fired from places like Dunkin' Donuts (seriously she's been fired from every job she's had within months (were talking roughly 30-40 jobs)).

I've tried to get her to go down better paths. If she would be happy working a minimum wage job her whole life that's fine, but I think she should have the opportunities to not be FORCED into working these jobs she clearly doesn't have any passion for. I tried to help her study for her GED, but she insisted she had to go to the adult education classes or she wouldn't learn anything, so I used to drop her off on my way to work, then I found out she was skipping classes and got dropped from the program. I tried to get her to join the military (but she can't do that until she gets her GED and she keeps pushing that off). Eventually after 5 years of this, I gave up and stopped trying to give her advice since she wasn't listening and just let her make her own choices and try not to invest myself too much.

Recently she's gotten terrible. She thinks she has her ducks in a row because she has her own place now and quit doing heavy drugs and has two jobs, but she's constantly behind on her rent, spends her money on stupid shit she doesn't need like tattoos or going out to dinner 7 days a week and it causes her to be unable to pay bills on time, and she's been sleeping with half the town (not an issue with a lot of sexual partners, it's more so that she's not being safe about it (no condoms) and had hooked up with a few guys who had girlfriends (she claimed to not know until after they had sex but she didn't seem upset about the fact they cheated on their gf with her).

Today she sends me a few snapchats of her out day drinking (it's a Friday morning and she's usually at work) with some guy she's dropped all over who I remember her showing me pictures of before. It was a guy she hooked up with a few weeks ago. This man has a girlfriend and Anna knows about her. I play stupid and ask who the guy is. She tells me and says she's been holding up with him every couple days for the past few weeks but doesn't feel bad because it's just sex and she's not interested in him. She also tells me she just needed to get out and drink because she got fired from her full time job.

I have no idea what to do. She's already short on this months rent and now got fired from her main source of income. Even with two jobs she was barely making enough, now she's out blowing whatever money she has left on drinks and fucking some other girl's boyfriend. She knows I hate when she does shady shit like that. I once stopped being friends with her for a month when we were 20 because she was flirting with a guy who had a fiancée. I don't want to put an ultimatum on her because she's 24 and it's her life I'm not her mom, but I really don't like how she's acting. It's just difficult because we've been close for so long and she's been there for me through everything in my life. I love her with all my heart and soul and I really don't want to lose our friendship. Do I just tell her to keep quiet about all this stuff because I don't want to hear about it? Or do I end the friendship?

(Also I feel like a lot of people will say that I need to sit her down and have a serious talk about where her life is going. Unfortunately, we've had this talk about 10-15 times over the years after something really bad happens to her and she cries and says she's going to change and never does and I cannot be there to guide her through every second of her life. If I try to talk to her when things are going "okay" in her life then she just gets defensive and normally stops talking to me for a bit. Trying to talk things out with her doesn't work as she's very set in her ways. I told her for 2 years to break up with her last boyfriend who was cheating on her and emotionally/physically abusive and she'd cry and say she knows and she hates him but go running back a few hours later and not talk to me for weeks. It took a court ordered restraining order until she was finally able to break up with him for good. She's very dependent on people).