I coped really well the first 8 weeks of my son’s life but now I’m starting to feel sad and anxious for seemingly no reason.

I do a lot of the parenting of our son on my own (90-95%) because of my husband’s work. I was going out every day to get us out of the house but about a week and a half ago I stopped wanting to leave the house. I’ve lost my appetite, I’m struggling to find meaningful things to do or to even stay on top of my housework. My baby is relatively easy but whenever I get a chance to do anything while he’s napping and what not I just end up sitting and watching him sleep. I also am having anxiety attacks at night and can’t sleep. I had a traumatic birth and wasn’t able to breastfeed and these things fill me with guilt.

I lost two babies before my son and I keep thinking “wow. This is what I’ve been missing this whole time?” And it makes me so sad.

My husband just keeps implying and insisting I need time away from the baby but that isn’t the case. I don’t need a break. I don’t know what I need. I am not struggling to care for my son. He is well loved and spoiled rotten by me.

I do not feel like I want to hurt myself or my son I just feel drained and sad. I cry a lot and have a difficult time talking to my husband. His mom had severe PPD to the point of neglecting him and he is hyper paranoid that I will get it that bad too.

I don’t know how to fix this and I don’t know who to talk to.