Finally honest with myself.

A week ago today, I went and seen my doctor. After so long of believing I was hiding behind a mask , I told my doctor I'm not ok. Mentally I am not ok. When I was 13 I was told I had depression and aniexty. I tried 12 different medications to help with it before I took lexapro. 4 weeks after starting it I took 30 of them and over a 100 wellbutrin thinking I wanted to die. I thank God every day that I survived that and I learned then that no matter what NOTHING IS WORTH DYING FOR! Now back to last week. I got to the point where I couldn't even handle to be touched by my child. Or hugged by my husband. I was a very angry person and was down right mean to my husband. I was not ok. I'm still not ok but I finally decided to be honest with myself and get the help I need. To any and everyone if you get this far in my long post. Its OK to Not Be Ok! It's ok to cry or scream into a pillow. It's ok to need a break or need some help. It's ok to not be perfect. And this crazy ride called life? Your killing it! Be strong. Be happy. Be proud!