How to eat again? PROGRESS UPDATE

I miscarried in September and went into a major depression shortly after that caused me to have major appetite problems that have not gone away since. Half of a sandwich can have me feeling like I ate an entire thanksgiving dinner by myself. I stopped going to the gym because I just felt too weak to go and now I am trying to start going again. I went from 225 at my heaviest to 205 in that time period simply from being depressed and not eating. But of course I didn’t lose the weight healthily so instead of losing fat I lost muscle and definition I had prided myself on having and maintaining only a year prior to that. I went to the gym for a full workout for the first time since my miscarriage and almost vomited from having only nibbles of a sandwich and lots of water in my tummy instead of a meal to fuel my workout. I found myself trying to push myself to workout at the level I had pre miscarriage and became very discouraged when I couldn’t. How can I motivate myself to eat and get my health back in a way that is also beneficial for my mental health?

(Ps my workout is not extreme in any regards: 20 minutes elliptical, leg press with 205 weight 50 reps, 10 pound hand weights and various arm exercises for 20 minutes, rowing machine 20 minutes, and cool down 20 on elliptical with stretches)

This is where I’m at now, I don’t like what I see rn but it’s just making me wanna work harder all the more

Me at 185 (my smallest in the last 5 years)

Me at my heaviest 225

Edit: already down to 198 after a little less than a week I am so proud of myself

Feeling more confident by the day