Forgiveness after infidelity

I am going to take a gamble here and try to stray away from the normal conversation around cheating husbands by opening up about my story. I am usually a fly on the wall on this app but have finally reached a point where I need more support than my therapist, as I have told no one in my life about this due to the fear of humiliation and judgement of both myself and my husband.

My husband and I got married two months ago. We have 2 children (a baby and 4 year old) and have been together almost 7 years. Six months before the wedding it came out that we both had been less than ideal partners. I admitted that 2 friends I had been calling my “friend” this whole relationship were actually exes from high school. Although we have kept it platonic since then, i withheld important information from him. One of these people was actually my maid of honor (I identify as pansexual). This was particularly difficult for him as someone with history of an ex coming out to him as a lesbian.

When all of this came out he too decide to confess to somethings — being that he was unfaithful two times in our relationship. He had sex with a now former friend a year into our relationship. He also had sex with a stripper when our oldest son was 1 (3 years ago).

Needless to say this was all devastating news, just a month after we sent out save the dates and started paying deposits for the wedding. We decided we were committed to each other and our family and continued with the wedding but definitely needed counseling (individual and couples) to get past these things. Well it’s been about 8 months since the whole thing unravelled, and while it’s not as overwhelming as it was when all the revelations first came out, it still weighs heavy on our relationship.

I guess I’m posting because I don’t know where to turn. Is it normal to still feel this raw? Have you experienced this, and if so, how did you get past it? Therapy has helped but the conversation is so one sided it feels like I’m the only one experiencing this even though I know I’m not. I’m too scared to talk to friends or family about it because I feel like they would never let it go, even when we (hopefully) move on from it. My husband also seems to be coping much better and moving past it, but I feel stuck in a place of resentment and insecurity. I am also more stuck on his actions than my own, but don’t know if that’s normal or just me deflecting my own guilt. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance that we can get past this.

Anyone willing to share words of encouragement or their story of how they moved past infidelity in their relationship (on either side)?