Relationship

I really need some advice. My children’s father and I have been on and off for 4 years. Our kids are 1 and a half and 3 months so they haven’t been put in the middle of us going back and fourth. A little bit of a background our relationship he’s and alcoholic has always been very mentally and emotionally abusive never physical. We’ve been apart for two months now he’s trying to be with me, he’s back in aa ( when I was pregnant with my first he was sober 7 months and it was an amazing time) he’s been helping with the kids more and wants me to go to counseling with him. I’m so torn my heart says yes but my brain says no he’ll never change. Does anyone have anything similar they have been though or are going through. I feel so lost.