I sit in the bathroom with him

This is embarrassing but I think it’s important to talk about. I’ve lost both my grandparents. My Nonnie passed away April 13th of last year and my poppa passed away May 14th this year, last Tuesday.

They lived right next to me and I was there almost every day growing up. My heart was still broke from losing my Nonnie, she was my best friend. And now my poppa is gone. And I have a lot of guilt due to his family saying I wasn’t there enough. That hurt. I was there every week to check on him. I saw him 4 days before he passed and he was doing great. I work a lot and a full time student in college. So when no one told me how bad he had gotten overnight I was upset, the day I went to see him he wouldn’t even talk to me he was so out of it and I just cried. After all these assumptions I haven’t been around my mom bought me a gift to make me know she sees how hard I try and she was heartbroken because we were doing so much and tried so hard but no one saw or said thank you. I threw him a birthday party, never got a thank you , I didn’t want a thank you. But the fact his family thanked everyone but us and said we wasn’t there broke my heart . And when I would try to say bye to my poppa they stood over me and I just cried. I haven’t met this part of his family before so it was heartbreaking. Like where have y’all been? I’m here all the time I’ve never seen y’all before.

Now when I pass my Nonnies, its not my Nonnies anymore. It’s not my poppas anymore. Its just a house I have so many memories in.

So the reason behind this, is the support my fiancé has given me. I been depressed, highly. And last night my fiancé had just gotten home and was going to take a shower and he told me

To come sit in there with him and talk to him. So my

Little self walked in there and sat down and just cried to him while he showered. He kept opening the shower door to make sure I was okay. It’s the little things. Most people would think we were totally weird but he knows when I ask to sit with him he knows I’m sad and he don’t mind.

I’m thankful for him and my family who has supported me. I’m just taking all this so hard. My second parents just passed. The second home I would always go to isn’t my second home anymore. Just breaks my heart..