I feel like my marriage is doomed

My husband has given me no reason to believe he would cheat, yet I have a constant awful feeling that he wants to or is doing something behind my back. He has lied to me in the past about porn, which is normally not a big deal but it was an addiction. He has never done anything that would lead me to believe he would cheat, yet I think he will. I keep telling myself if he’s going to, he’s going to and I can’t control it but I find myself constantly worrying and trying to control everything so he’s not able to or so I would catch him.

I’ve been in therapy for years yet nothing seems to help this feeling. Both our dads betrayed our moms in the worst ways, they went beyond simply cheating and it was bad, so that’s probably the root of it all. My husband lost his virginity to me and his dad’s “reason” for cheating was feeling like he hadn’t had enough sexual experience before getting married 😒. Then my husband had been mentioning a threesome and I really think it’s just his way of saying he wants to experience another woman without cheating, though he says he just wants to watch me with her.

I feel sickened by anything remotely sexual that isn’t between 2 loving committed partners, like cheating on tv makes me feel personally betrayed and like I want to cry. It has gotten worse as his group of friends at work are all single and talk about women all day long, I just picture my husband being a different person with them, saying nasty stuff about women and I feel disgusted.

Logically I know it’s all wrong, but I don’t know how to shut it down, or if I should. Women’s intuition is a powerful thing but it could also just be scars and anxiety.

He doesn’t understand and thinks I’m ridiculous but I’m miserable a lot of the time thinking about this.