Do I have a right to be upset?

Question

I have been with my fiancee for a year and a half. He proposed on Christmas last year. Today he got off his chest that he has 3 children that he never told me about. Due to circumstances at the time, he signed them over to his mother in law in 2010 after his ex wife took her own life. He hasn't seen or had contact with them since. I was so excited to be the woman to birt his first child. Now I feel as if I've been robbed of that 3 times. I have fertility issues anyway so now I feel even more inadequate. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset and can't stop crying. Any advice?

Accepted Answer

You've only been together a year and a half and he's already proposed which okay fair enough but I find that just a bit weird in my honest opinion and then he drops that huge bombshell, I'd lose trust in him especially as he's not seen his own kids for 9 years. I wouldn't be with a man like that

Answer

If he has 3 children he has not seen in years, how will he treat the children you have? What if you two got a divorce down the road, would the children you have become nonexistent to him as well?

Answer

Wow .. not only has he been lying to you,but what type of man has 3 kids he don’t see ? His ex has passed so don’t he think he kids would really need the surviving parent ? I would be pissed and feel manipulated.

Answer

you have EVERY right to be upset. do not let anyone try to minimize your feelings. that was definitely a conversation he should have had with you before y’all got engaged - even if he wasn’t seeing or contacting them. 
some advice: sit him down & just talk. try to get him to see where you’re coming from & if he is willing to have more kids. i’m sorry you’re going through this :(

Answer

Of course you have a right to be upset! And if he’s telling you that you don’t, that is just yet another huge red flag. Three children that he has kept secret? He signed his rights over? In my opinion, none of this seems right. The least of your worries is that you’re not the first woman to birth his child. This dude has red flags all over the place! I personally would not be able to stay with someone like this.

Answer

I would have A LOT of questions for him and he would have to answer every one truthfully to my satisfaction. If he doesn’t.... I don’t know if I could even make things work. So he has four children.... which means you now have three step children..... which means your child has siblings...... and he doesn’t even see his children? No that’s just too much.

Answer

Yeah, that’s a big think to not tell your girlfriend about, let alone fiancé. I think it’s expected to be aware going in if the person you are with has children. Then you can decide if it’s something you’re ok with. I would be upset too. I’m sorry.

Answer

Huge red flag!

Do I have a right to be upset?

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