Confused

I am almost 20 years old and I have never masturbated. I do have sex and I enjoy it but I have never had an orgasm. My boyfriend said maybe if I masturbated it would help our sex life.

Here's the thing. I have major anxiety when it comes to even just thinking about masterbation. I dont know why, but I have always felt that way. It makes me feel disgusting and uncomfortable to think about touching myself. I could really use some advice and maybe if someone else feels this way to let me know what they thing.