Young and dumb to realize what happened

I was 18 when i found out i was pregnant with my now exes baby (im 19 now) . I ended up miscarrying in January .. i didnt understand what was happening nor did i take time to acknowledge it . Now that im in a different relationship , and my s.o and i are trying to conceive , i feel like total a$$ that i didn’t acknowledge losing my baby . I can stop thinking about him/her &&’ that what ifs , if I actually gave birth . Idk what to do or who to talk to . The only people that knew about my pregnancy was my than bf , my friends &&’ my sister