I’ve been waiting for my husband to make a decision for a long time weather he wants to give up being able to do what ever he wants when he wants (including leaving today with no notice for Puerto Rico to do god knows what) along with using drugs in order to keep our family together. He resents any sort of compromise and takes it out on me. He also has newly diagnosed mental illness, but wavers back and forth as to weather he can live and give up music festivals and drugs and having freedom to just leave and go anywhere or obsessively work on anything at any given moment, which includes leaving his jobs when he tires of them.

I sit here pregnant with my second child as a sahm feeling like an idiot, duped, pathetic , unloved, and foolish while I wait for this pending decision. My husband is off work for leave due to illness and is seeing counselors but I don’t think it’s helping all that much because he sees reason for a day then goes right back.

I guess what I’m looking for is there hope for me? Hope to not being a single mom of 2? Hope that someone out there will love and respect me, as well as be a wonderful person to my children? I’m 32 and am so hopeful but scared at the same time.

If we separate how do I even navigate prospects? Would anyone be interested I. Me at all. I feel like a reject and anyone who’d be decent wouldn’t want my baggage. Does anyone have anything encouraging? Or had a tough situation like this ? I’m so scared my children will be hurt. How do I move on and have a chance at building a family unit? I’d love to hear anything positive right now. Any story of success with a mentally ill spouse, or living through divorce and finding happiness. Anything would be great.