😔 ppd is getting to me

Today was a rough day. I feel like a waste of space. I feel like horrible mom to my 18 month old because I don't give her enough attention. I feel like a horrible mom for giving my 1 month old all my attention. I feel like a horrible wife because I'm scared to have sex. I feel like a horrible woman because I'm in so much pain when I have sex. I feel like a horrible partner because instead of doing some housework I'm in bed crying or sleeping or cuddling my newborn. I feel like a horrible person because all I want to do is just get in the car and drive away because I don't deserve this wonderful family I have and I probably will always feel this way. I'm just drowning in my emotions and I don't have anywhere to go and no one to talk to about it. I feel like I'm failing at life.